Preparing for Death when our
time comes - and how it can help us to live now
All of us wish for an easy and quick and painless death and
the wish grows stronger as we grow older. Much of the terror
that diseases like cancer and AIDS inspire is caused not by the
fact that we die in the end. After all, all of us must die one
day. The terror is caused by the manner of our passing if we
contract these dreaded diseases. Our death will be slow,
painful and terror stricken.
I vividly remember my grandmother dying. She contracted lung
cancer in her late 80s. Towards the end she was unable to
breathe. I vividly remember her gasping for breath as she lay
on her deathbed. But the most vividly impression I have of her
passing was the terror that she faced as she lay dying. It had
almost a physical presence. I was too young and immature then
to be able to help in any way.
And my grandmother had taken a keen interest in Hindu
philosophy all her life and had even written a book on the
Bhagavad Gita. None of this helped her however as she lay
dying. Mindfulness of impermanence and death is primarily a
Buddhist Practice and Hindu Philosophy does not stress on it
very much.
And this gives us some pointers for dealing with the fears
of death. It will not help it we are well versed in philosophy.
The only way we can prepare ourselves for an easy death by
practicing contemplation of death when we are strong and
healthy, by practicing mindfulness in our daily life and
meditation.
For all of us will die as we have lived. Sorry to be blunt
about it but this has to be said. When faced with death – the
greatest and last crisis of our life – when we are faced with
the final journey into the great unknown our minds will react
purely out of habit. There is no time then to learn meditation
practices and prepare ourselves.
That said I must also mention that the vast majority of
deaths in the modern age are peaceful. We will have to face the
fear and the terror at the time of our passing but we can
reasonably expect to not be in any great physical pain or
discomfort given what modern medicines can do.
Also there are some books and resources, which are
insightful and inspiring and which can help you even in this
trying time. If you are facing imminent death, or a life
threatening illness or of you know of someone close to you in
this position please buy and go through the following
books.
1.
Life after Life – by Raymond Moody:
Raymond Moody is a doctor and a man of science and this is
truly a path-breaking book. It details the experiences of
people who went through Near Death Experiences (NDE) and who
were later revived. Moody interviewed many persons who had an
NDE and all these experiences had many things in common. And
all these experiences confirm that there is life after death.
And none of the experience – after the body physically died –
was in any way terrifying or unpleasant. This book can convince
us that there is indeed life after life and that though the
experience of dying may be painful and unpleasant but that too
is only a passing phase and something good awaits us after
that.
2)
The Power of Now - by Eckhart Tolle
This is a modern spiritual classic. Eckhart Tolle has had
mystical experiences and this book reflects those insights. The
book is primarily about bringing “Present moment awareness”
into our lives when we are healthy and strong. But many people
facing death have immensely benefited from it. Eckhart Tolle
also unequivocally says that if you want an easy death you
simply have to dis-identify from the mind and bring your entire
being into the Now. Ignore the mind and its fears about the
past and the future, live in the now, live in mindfulness.
3)
The Tibetan Book on Living and Dying – by Sogyal
Rinpache
This book gives us a comprehensive view of the Tibetan way
of looking at life and death and the process of dying. It has
advice for each of these stages. This book has sold more than
two million copies and is referred to by doctors and medical
professionals in their care of terminally ill patients. It is
more than just a book - it is a reference work. It also has
advice on helping the dying at the time of passing so if
someone close to you is terminally ill you owe it to him or her
to read this book.
4)
The Heart of Understanding – by Thich Nhat Hanh
This short book by 54 pages is a commentary on he
Prajnaparamita Sutra. This sutra is the essence of Buddhist
teaching and recited daily in Mahayana temples and practice
centers throughout the world. Its teaching on Inter-being and
Emptiness, if contemplated upon, can make is see ourselves and
the world in a completely different way. We will then be able
to see the universe in our selves and ourselves in the
universe. I know this sounds far fetched but Thich Nhat Hanh
explains the sutra warmly and with clarity and compassion.
Thich Nhat Hanh describe the Heart sutra as “Avalokitesvara
Bodhisattva’s precious gift to us, the gift of
fearlessness.
Contemplation on emptiness and Inter-being will take us out
of the habit of identifying ourselves with the body, mind, and
the eyes and will make us feel at one with the universe.
5)
No Death No Fear - by Thich Nhat Hanh
This book specifically tackles the subject of our passing.
It explains emptiness, inter-being and impermanence and gives
us new insights that would be invaluable to the terminally ill.
The book also contains the Buddhist practice of Touching the
Earth. This is a practice explained in detail by Thich Nhat
Hanh- that will enable us to understand emptiness and
inter-being more deeply. It will also enable us to face our
fears about our passing. Highly recommended.
On to the next chapter on Helping the
dying – some practical advice:
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