Transforming the energy of
anger
Dealing with anger - The greatest lesson of George
Gurdieff’s life.
George Gurdieff was an Armenian mystic. He has been praised
by Osho Rajneesh as one of the most enlightened masters of
modern times. This is the story of what Gurdieff claimed was
the greatest lesson of his life.
When Gurdieff was a young boy his father died. The father
called young Gurdieff to his deathbed and told him –“ Son I
have no money or wealth to pass on to you. I have only this one
piece of advice that is a real treasure. It is this – when
someone does or says anything that makes you angry do not
respond immediately. Wait for 24 hours before reacting or
responding in any way.”
George Gurdieff lived up to this teaching out of respect for
his dying father. When ever he got angry he would say to other
person “my father taught me on his deathbed to wait for 24
hours before responding. I have to honor his wishes of a dying
man. Please wait 24 hours and I will reply to you”.
And George Gurdieff invariably found that either the
criticism was justified or that it was not. When he found that
the criticism was justified he would go up to the other person
and thank him for bringing the matter to his notice. This used
to surprise the other person as he expected Gurdieff to respond
angrily. And when the criticism was not justified Gurdieff
found that it was simply not worth his while to respond in any
way. He used to then ignore the matter completely and get on
with his life. This is excellent advice on dealing with
anger.
This was the piece of advice that George Gurdieff said was
the greatest lesson that he had learned in his life.
It brings out the fact that we should act and respond to
situations after thinking and also that we should never think
or act when we are angry. Take time to cool down, think and
then respond. Never do your thinking while is a state of anger.
Deal with the feeling first and then think.
The Buddha once said that a monk had the right to be angry
but not for more then 24 hours. Wait 24 hours before responding
to the person who has made you angry.
6) Diet & Mindful Consumption
We divide ourselves into separate entities of Body and Mind
but in reality Mind and Body are one. What affects the Body
affects the Mind. Our diet affects our emotions and feelings as
does our consumption of such items as TV programs, Movies,
Books, Magazines and conversations.
Thich Nhat Hanh brings to our attention the fact that the
chicken and meat products we eat contain a lot of anger in
them. Chickens are brought up so that they have to stand all
day in small cages. They cannot move or sit they can only
stand. What would happen in such a situation – the chickens go
mad.
When we eat the flesh of these chickens we are ingesting a
lot of anger and other negative feelings. This will affect our
state of mind.
Osho Rajneesh says that when animals are butchered for their
meat then at the time they die they release toxins into their
flesh because they know they are about to die and are in a
state of fear. These toxins will affect us if we eat meat. Osho
therefore calls the eating of meat to be eating poisoned
food.
I suppose it would be best if we eat only vegetarian food.
It is not easy. I eat meat products myself. But regardless of
this our health and our digestion would be much better if we
practiced eating mindfully. Chew each mouthful of food at least
50 times before swallowing. The food in our mouth get
thoroughly mixed with saliva and become liquid. It is then
easily digested by the stomach and intestines and we will
absorb the nutrients better.
I have started eating mindfully myself making the effort to
chew the food thoroughly before swallowing. I now find that I
eat less. Our stomach are empty before a meal and we naturally
feel hungry. If we slow down our intake of food is the stomach
will get the signal that it is full before we eat our usual
amount. In the time that we take to eat it two sandwiches, we
eat only one sandwich and yet we find that we feel
satisfied.
Also my stomach used to feel very heavy after a meal and I
found myself unable to do any work. This was no doubt because
of eating quickly and also over eating. Now I feel satisfied
and fit for anything even after a meal and it is all the result
of my taking time to chew my food thoroughly and mindfully.
You will also enjoy the taste of even the simplest of foods
better if you take up this practice.
In addition to your diet you may also want to observe your
habits of consuming magazine articles, books, TV programs and
movies. There is a lot of anger and violence and negative
feelings in many of these programs. Inevitably we will be
affected if we watch them. To really come to grips with the
habit of anger you may want to consider changing your habits of
consuming these items. These are new ways of dealing with anger
and making sure it does not arise.
7) Compassionate Listening
This section deal not with how to tackle your own anger but
dealing with disturbed feelings of others.
When we are feeling disturbed we don’t need someone to tell
us what we have done wrong. We don’t need to be told that we
deserve to suffer. All that may be true but we are quite
capable of figuring that out for ourselves. What we need is
someone to listen to us. We do not need a solution to our
problem. We need someone to take away the pain that we are in
as all of us are when in a state of anger.
And this is where compassionate listening comes in.
Compassionate listening is listening with aim of letting the
other person unburden himself or herself of the pain that he or
she is in. It is mindfulness in a sense of the other person’s
pain – just witnessing it without reacting, being one with it.
Listening in such a manner is a terrific way of building deeper
ties in a loving relationship.
It is listening not with the intent of understanding the
person, or gathering information, or analyzing or presenting a
solution. It is listening with the goal of sharing in the
person’s pain.
This sort of listening really helps the disturbed person to
feel calm again this is in fact the reason why psycho-analysis
is sometimes so effective. It is more than the fact that the
person is getting in touch with his internal demons and
complexes and bringing them out into the consciousness. It is
also that the psycho-analyst really listens to his patient. The
patient perhaps for the first time in his life FEELS ACCEPTED
by someone else. Just this much can be a powerful force to help
transform ourselves.
Compassionate listening is a skill that can be learned. It
also requires however that you be at peace with yourself. It
requires you to deal mindfully with your own disturbed feelings
so that you know how to witness the other person’s pain. It
also requires that we should not do too much of it in case we
feel burdened by all this misery. We need to enjoy the company
of friends, a good book or a movie or a sunset so that we water
the seed of happiness in us and can take on the task of
witnessing someone else’s pain.
Please go to the next page for further advice on dealing
with anger constructively over here Using communication to defuse
anger:
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